This is story about me…mine…my…life…

I realize…i can not run from this heartache…

I must face it…

Huff…i hope this is going well…

Dear,,

Km nyakitin aq…

km bener-bener nyakitin aq…

km ga ngeliat semua effort aq buat utk menjadi yang "baik" buat kamu…

km mau aq begini..

km ga suka aq begitu…

aq turutin…

tp hanya karena pesan bodoh itu kamu sama sekali ngga menghargai usaha aq…

seharusnya kamu ga usah beri aq harapan palsu…

mgkn aq bisa lebih terima kalau dari pertama kamu bilang kamu ga bisa….

aq sakit…sakit sekali….airmata rasa nya ngga abis-abis mengalir terus sejak mlm itu…

kamu tau?setiap tetesan air mata aq itu adl cermin dari betapa aq syg sm km….

km blg kalo syg ga mgkn nyakitin,,,but hey what are you doing to me now??

apa ini berarti km ga pernah syg??krn ini rasa nya sakit sekali…ini ga setimpal dgn kesalahan yg aq buat..

Mgkn mmg aq yg bodoh percaya kata-kata syg kamu…palsu bgt!

km blg kata-kata aq dgn perbuatan ga sesuai..hey!don’t you realize,,,kamu yg paling palsu diantara qta berdua….

Haahhhh….all this time aq selalu berpikir apa yang kurang dari aq…apalagi keinginan yg blm aq penuhi…walaupun kdg aq ngga ngenalin diri aq sendiri saking banyak nya yg aq rubah demi kamu…tapi ttp saja aq ngga pernah cukup baik buat kamu…

Kamu selalu marah…dan marah…do i really deserve that???after all i’ve been through for you??!!!

Begini cara km memperlakukan org yang bener-bener syg sama km??

Begini cara km mensyukuri rizki dari Allah??

Km tau rasa nya di sakiti…

Km tau rasa nya di zalimi…

Km tau rasa nya di sia-siakan…

Aq  qra aq bisa mempercayakan hidup aq k kamu…

ternyata aq salah….

Astagfirullahaladzim….it hurts..

Km nyia-nyia in org yg bener-bener syg sm km..

it turns out…

bkn aq yg ga cukup baik buat kamu…tapi kamu yg ga cukup baik buat aq…

i will forget you…

"Have you ever been hurt before?"

"I have..Thanks to you"

Pgn banget rasa nya ngomong ke loe langsung betapa loe dah nyakitin gw!!!

Loe ga tau…loe bener-bener ga tau gmn hancur nya hati gw saat ini!!

Gw pun amazed dengan apa yang gw rasain saat ini,,,gw pun amazed ternyata bisa se sakit ini…

Huff….I’m just to old to be a cry baby like this….

Hey boy, what is it all you wanted in a Girl??
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand
So why your love went away
I just can’t seem to understand
Thought it was me and you
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong

Don’t want to think about it
Don’t want to talk about it
I’m just so sick about it
Can’t believe it’s ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can’t think anymore
Tell me is this fair?

Is this the way it’s really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should’ve known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It’s breaking my heart to watch you run around
‘Cause I know that you’re living a lie
That’s okay baby ’cause in time you will find…

What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around

Now boy, I remember everything that you claimed
You said that you’re not comfortable with me anymore
Hey maybe i feel the same!
Funny thing about that is

You’re the one whose filled with trouble and complicated life
And I was ready to help you through it…
And now, it’s all just a shame
And I guess I was wrong

Let me paint this picture for you, baby

You find another girl…
you put your hope on her…
big hope..you do everything he wants you to do
You change yourself just to pleased her…But it seems you never good enough for her
I heard you found out
That she’s doing to you
What you did to me
Ain’t that the way it goes

When you said you still not comfort after all my effort
My heart bleeded boy
So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
Just a classic case
A scenario
Tale as old as time
Boy you got what you deserved

And now you want somebody
To cure the lonely nights
You wish you had somebody
That could come and make it right

But boy I ain’t somebody with a lot of sympathy
You’ll see

What goes around comes back around

Finally,,,it’s Apr 30th,2008. Alhamdulilah, sekalilagi it’s been a wonderfull birthday,,,senangnya dikelilingi oleh mere yang sayang sama gw…

Thank’s to ;

1. Mas Qu,,

Sayang Qu..Cinta Qu..thank you for the joy you’ve given,,thank you for the tears i’ve cried..even the word i love you,i hate you,and thank you doesn’t seem enough. You will always be a very important part of my life.

2. Ma Mom & Dad,,

Terima kasih atas semua kasih sayang nya…kepercayaan nya,,kekeras kepalaan nya,,,hey mom,,dad,,you little baby is 23 yo now,,and i hope i’m able to make both of you proud..u’re the best!

3. Ma Brother,,,

Hey..mana sangka loe inget ultah gw,,secara gitu ya dirimu cuuueekkk banget,,hehehe..makasih ya mas,,ucapan tengah malem nya,,,love you so much!

4. Ma Best Friend Citra,Fiona,Iie,,,,

Ga tau gmn hidup gw tanpa kalian semua,,,udah loncat dari lt.12 kali,,hihihi(remember this statement). It’s been such a wonderfull experience to have you all in my life,,,semoga di kehidupan selanjut nya qta ttp bersama..(halah!)

5. Teman2 stayclose,,teman2 kantor,,teman2 kuliah,,

Semuaa nyaaa makasssiiihhhh……

Haduh akan banyak sekali,,,ngga cukup karakter di blog ini kalo kudu ditulis semua,,banyak org2 yang gw kira sdh lupa eh pd ngucapin,,makasih banget!!Abang qu & pacar nya wizy..sumpah kejutan banget!mantan pacar pertama ikrar…hahaha,,,yang pertama ni ngucapin ultah,,dulu2 mah ga prnh!Umm,,ka verdy..trusss,,,MELISSA!!Gosh i miss you so much babe!AE Prambors yang super sibuk ini ga nyangka masih inget ultah gw..well at least gw ga nyangka loe ngucapin nya jam 12mlm…apa jgn2 msh bergaul jm segono?antara sadar ga sadar?huehehe….

Anyway,,thank you..

thank you so much!

Love you all….

Sometimes I find myself sittin’ back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin’
And I remember when you started callin’ me your miss’s
All the play fightin’, all the flirtatious disses
I’d tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don’t why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We’d spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can’t shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin’ tea in bed
Watching DVD’s
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we’d buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
the first time that you introduced me to your friends
and you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do
There’s no one in the world that could replace you

Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, It seems
That I can’t shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Terlalu banyak kebodohan yang gw lakuin…
Dengan memulai sesuatu yang seharusnya bisa gw sudahi dari awal-awal…
BODOH!!amat sangat BODOH!!

Gw benci jadi orang yang lemah karena cinta…
Gw benci jadi orang yang kalah oleh cinta…
Sounds absurd maybe..
But i really hate what love can do to me…

-it doesn’t supposed to be like this-
-i wish i never knew you-

If love was a bird
Then we wouldn’t have wings
If love was a sky
We’d be blue
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isn’t for me and you

So why don’t you go your way
And I’ll go mine
Live your life, and I’ll live mine
Baby you’ll do well, and I’ll be fine
Cause we’re better off, separated

Looks like we made it
Look how far we’ve come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we’d get there someday

Happy anniversary….

Tanggal 7 Des 2007 ada sms nyasar dari 92211232 ke hp esia gw yang notabene hanya org-org terpilih yang tau hehehe…

it says ;

"Tubuh ini hidup, namun jiwa ini telah mati.

aku yakin suatu saat nanti ada malaikan yang turun ke bumi

yang di tangannya membawa segenggam Ruh untukku

dan Ruh itu KAMU.."

Siapapun elo..

Dimanapun elo..

Walaupun gw tau itu sms nyasar..

Thank you…

Thank you so much…

It’s really brighten up my morning.

Aq kangen…

Kangen dicintai…

Kangen mencintai…

Aq kangen..

Kangen di kangenin…

Kangen mengangeni…

Aq kangen…

Perasaan senang kalo HP bunyi dan nama kamu disitu..

Perasaan senang kalo mlm tdk bisa tidur mendengar suara kamu…

Aq kangen…

Kangen perasaan nyaman..

Kangen perasaan aman..

Aq kangen…

Aq kangen…

Aq kangen…